


The Ghost Of You

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo [11]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Denial, Grief/Mourning, Hallucinations, Hopeful Ending, Loss, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 06:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17218787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: When Isaac is killed in a hunter attack, Nolan is left to pick up the pieces. He doesn't do a very good job of it, and instead finds himself living in his own reality where Isaac survived.





	The Ghost Of You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xTarmanderx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xTarmanderx/gifts).



> For Tara, who requested Hallucinations for Nisaac, as part of Bad Things Happen Bingo

It happens fast. One moment Nolan and Isaac are laughing and holding hands as they make their way through the park. The next Isaac is shoving Nolan out of the way and then an arrow is piercing through his chest. Everything seems a blur after that. Nolan charges at the assailant, grabbing one of the bows from his holster as they struggle and then driving it into his throat. He doesn’t wait to make sure he’s dead before running over to Isaac. Isaac who is far too pale and eyes are unfocused as he stares up at him.

“Why would you do that?” Nolan asks, falling to his knees next to him. “God Isaac, that was so stupid.”

“Had. To. Save. You.” Isaac says, each word sounding like he’s having to force them out.

“You should save your energy,” Nolan tells him, pulling out his phone. “I’ll call Scott and we’ll get you to Deaton. And…”

“Nols,” Nolan looks back to Isaac, who has tears running down his face. “Love you.”

He closes his eyes. Nolan screams.

***

“Isaac?” Nolan calls from the bedroom. He’s just woken up to the sun shining through their bedroom window to find Isaac’s side of the bed empty and cold. It doesn’t even look as if he slept here last night.

Nolan has a flash of Isaac being shot with the arrow and starts to panic. He jumps out of bed and runs out of the room and down the hall, “Isaac? Isaac, are you here? Isaac--”

Nolan lets out a breath of relief when he slides into the kitchen to see Isaac standing at the counter with a cup of coffee in his hands. He brings the cup up to his lips and raises an amused eyebrow, “Something wrong?”

Nolan walks over to him and swats his arm, “You know damn well what’s wrong. You got shot! You can’t just disappear like that. I thought… I thought you died.”

“Well I didn’t,” Isaac says, putting his mug down so that he can put his hands on Nolan’s hips and pull him closer. “I’m here Nolan.”

Nolan sighs and throws his head back, smiling when Isaac gives a pleased rumble and nuzzles into his neck. He pushes down the feeling that something feels off about the whole thing. Isaac is here. He’s alive. What could be wrong?

***

When Scott calls to check in and asks how Nolan is holding up, Nolan is confused. He’s not the one that was hurt and almost died. Still, he chalks it up to him being a human and tells Scott they’re fine and just trying to get some rest before hanging up.

He goes about his day like normal. Or at least he tries to. It’s hard to concentrate in class when people are staring at him and huddled together whispering about him. Still, it’s not the first time something like this has happened. He’s able to brush it off.

Isaac’s phone goes to voicemail when he calls, and Nolan rolls his eyes as he leaves a message. “I swear, if I come home and find the reason you didn’t answer is because you were playing video games, we’re going to have words mister.”

Nolan picks up some sandwiches from their favorite deli on his way home, knowing Isaac probably hasn’t eaten yet. When Nolan gets to his apartment, he’s surprised to see Liam outside his door. He stands up straight, and looks to Nolan with worried eyes.

“Where have you been?” Liam asks, stepping aside to let Nolan unlock the door. “I’ve been banging on the door for the past 10 minutes.”

“I was at class,” Nolan tells him, frowning at him in confusion. He opens the door to the apartment, and is surprised to find no one in the living room. “You know I have class on Wednesdays.”

“I know. I just didn’t think you’d go. You know considering…” Liam trails off and runs a hand through his hair.

“Considering what?” Nolan asks. He doesn’t turn to look at him as he slips out of his coat and puts his keys and wallet in the bowl by the door.

“What happened last night,” Liam says. “We all figured you’d need some time.”

Nolan sighs, “It happened. And we’re fine. I don’t see a reason to put our lives on hold.”

“You loved him,” Liam says, sounding confused. “Losing someone you love isn’t something you can just get over.”

Nolan catches sight of Isaac in the kitchen and smiles. He doesn’t know what Liam is going on about. He waves him off and heads into the kitchen, towards Isaac, who grins as he approaches. “I didn’t lose anyone,” Nolan tells him. “Isaac is right here. Did you hit your head?”

Liam is silent for a moment, the only sound his quiet footsteps as he follows Nolan into the room. When he speaks, his voice is quiet. Hesitant. “Nolan, there’s no one here.”

“He thinks you’re seeing things,” Isaac tells him.

Nolan snorts, “I’m hardly seeing things. I think I’d know if my boyfriend was dead. But he’s not. _You’re_ not. You’re right here.”

“Nolan…”

Nolan turns to glare at Liam, “Stop it. Isaac is _fine_.” He waves a hand in Isaac’s direction. “He’s standing right here!”

“But he’s not…” Liam tries, but Nolan quickly cuts in. “Stop it! If you’re going to be like that you can just leave!”

“I can’t leave you here like this.”

“You’re not leaving me here like anything,” Nolan yells. “I’m fine. Isaac’s fine. _We’re_ fine. So just go.”

Liam looks like he wants to argue, but he clearly knows this is a battle he’s lost. “I’ll umm… I’ll talk to the rest of the pack and call you later.”

Nolan rolls his eyes, “Yeah sure. Whatever.”

“We need to talk about the funeral.”

Nolan grabs the closest thing to him, which happens to be one of his textbooks, and throws it across the room. His voice is deadly calm when he speaks. “Get. Out.”

Once Liam leaves, Nolan is quick to lock the door. He lines it, and the windows with mountain ash just to be safe. No one is getting in here.

“You’re not dead,” Nolan says, launching himself at Isaac. “You’re not. We saved you. You’re right here.”

“Of course I am,” Isaac says. He runs a hand through Nolan’s hair, and Nolan tries not to think about how different it feels.

***

“The pack keeps calling,” Nolan mutters. He’s half lying on Isaac, and is busying himself playing with Isaac’s fingers. “Why can’t they understand I don’t want to talk to them?”

Isaac makes a thoughtful noise, “They’re just worried about you.”

“Well they have no reason to be,” Nolan sighs. “I’m clearly fine.”

“Are you though?” Isaac asks, his voice taking on the soft, careful tone it does when he’s worried.

Nolan groans and buries his face in his neck, “Don’t you start too. I’m fine, and so are you. And if you weren’t…”

“What?”

“I’d rather be here living in a reality where you are real than have to face one day without you.”

“Nolan…”

Nolan pulls back to look at him, his eyes pleading. “But you’re here. So everything is alright.”

“Yeah Nolan,” Isaac says, giving him a sad smile as he brushes his knuckles across his cheek. “I’m here.”

***

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Nolan asks, peering over at Isaac. Nolan is still in bed, not having much of an excuse to get out of it the past few days. He knows he has homework, and is running low on groceries. But he can’t bring himself to leave the comfort and safety of being here with Isaac.

Isaac throws a grin over his shoulder, “I do. You were such a little shit.”

Nolan laughs, “I was, but you wanted me anyway.”

“I did,” Isaac agrees. He turns to face him, an easy grin forming on his lips as he walks towards the bed. “I have every day since.” He crawls on the bed and on top of Nolan, caving him in with his hands on either side of his head. “I’ll always want you. And love you. But do you know what I want more than anything?”

“What?”

“For you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” Nolan hooks an arm behind Isaac’s neck, while his other hand comes up to brush through the curls he loves so much. “I’m here with you. How could I not be happy?”

Nolan can’t understand why Isaac looks sad. So he kisses him, trying to push away any negative thoughts that are trying to fight their way into his mind. He has Isaac here with him. He doesn’t need anything else.

***

It’s after a week of being locked in the apartment that Nolan finally has to leave to go get food. Isaac laughs at him as he sneaks along the hallway, peeking around corners and ducking into alcoves every time someone comes down the hall.

Once they make it outside, and to the car, Nolan swats at Isaac, “You know, you could have just been a good boyfriend and told me if anyone was coming.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Isaac asks.

Nolan goes to speak, but finds a hand covering his mouth and himself being pulled backwards. He tries to fight, and looks at Isaac with wide, frightened eyes, but that sad look is there again.

“Relax,” Liam hisses against his ear. “No one is going to hurt you. We just have someplace to go.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere with you,” Nolan snarls, once Liam has allowed him to speak.

Liam just sighs and pushes him towards the backseat of the car. Nolan knows he could try and run, but Liam and Theo would both be able to catch him. Nolan looks to where Isaac was standing to find him gone. Frowning, he gets into the backseat of the truck, and buckles in, cursing both Liam and Theo.

He eyes them warily as they drive into town, noticing the suits they are wearing for the first time. “Why are you so dressed up?”

They share a look but don’t say anything. Nolan feels his pulse speed up when they pull up at the funeral home. He can see most of the packs cars outside.

“What are we doing here?”

“You know why,” Liam tells him. “This can’t go on, Nolan.”

“You’re right,” Nolan says. “It can’t. Maybe this will finally prove to you that you’re all being ridiculous.”

He hops out of the truck, and starts walking briskly through the door. He just wants to get this over with. The sooner he does, the sooner he can get home to Isaac. When Nolan sees the coffin he almost stumbles. For a moment, he could swear it was Isaac. But it doesn’t look like him. Not really. His face is too pale and made up. It’s not Isaac. It’s some sort of mean joke.

He rolls his eyes and goes to sit in the back, earning wary looks from his friends. He watches as Scott, Derek, Chris, and Melissa greet people at the front. If this were really Isaac’s funeral, he would be up there. But it’s not. Because Isaac is fine.

Eventually everyone settles down and the service starts. Nolan can barely listen as some stranger goes on about Isaac’s life. It’s not as if the man knows him.

“Well this is quite the event, isn’t it?” Nolan almost jumps at the voice. He turns his head to see Isaac sitting here, wearing an amused smirk. “They went all out, at least. I deserve that.”

“I’ll remember that for the future,” Nolan tells him.

Isaac tilts his head, “Just no singing, please. You can’t carry a tune to save your life.”

Nolan laughs, earning a few concerned looks from the pack and other people gathered here. He ignores them.

“Do you want to sneak out of here?” Nolan leans in close and whispers.

Isaac looks at him, his eyes alight with mischief as he holds out his hand for Nolan to take, “I thought you’d never ask.”

He quietly gets to his feet, but ducks down as he and Isaac make their way behind the last row of people. Once they’re clear of the room, Isaac takes Nolan’s hand and starts towards the door.

“Nolan?” Scott calls after him.

Isaac grins, “Ready to run?”

Nolan can only grin back, “Always.”

They rush through the doors to the funeral home and down the stairs, stumbling their way down the busy sidewalk. Nolan turns his head to see Liam, Scott, and Theo standing there, watching him. He laughs again and turns back around, allowing Isaac to lead him down the sidewalk, away from the funeral home.

They wind up in the park, and Nolan can’t help but feel a wave of uncertainty. “Do we have to go through here?”

“It’s a nice day,” Isaac says. “We always loved this park.”

“I know,” Nolan says, looking around nervously. “But the last time we were here…”

A memory flashes through Nolan’s mind of Isaac’s blood coating his hands as he cries and begs him to come back to him. He’d cried until Scott had pulled him off. The rest is a blur, but he knows they must have done something. They saved Isaac. Otherwise he wouldn’t be standing here with him.

“I almost lost you,” Nolan says. He stops in his tracks and looks down at the now clean patch of concrete. There’s not a speck of blood here anymore. No sign that someone had almost died.

When Nolan looks up again, Isaac is gone.

Nolan hurries to make it through the park, and back to their apartment. He’s sure Isaac must be there. He probably just went ahead to surprise him with something. Once he’s inside he locks the door and lines it with mountain ash.

Isaac leans against the wall, watching him. “What if I hadn’t been in here?”

“I would have let you in,” Nolan says. “I just don’t want the pack getting in.”

“You do realize there are humans in the pack,” Isaac comments.

Nolan sighs, “Yeah but I locked the door.”

“Do you think that would stop Stiles?”

“What do you want me to do? Put the dresser in front of the door?”

“I want you to admit something isn’t right here,” Isaac says, pushing off the wall and stepping towards him.

“The only thing that’s wrong here is us arguing,” Nolan says.

“We both know that’s not true,” Isaac sighs. “Nolan…”

Nolan holds up his hands and takes a step back, “No. Just let me have this. Please.”

He closes his eyes and braces himself against the wall. “Nolan,” Isaac says, his voice soft. He sounds closer, but Nolan can’t open his eyes to see. “Will you look at me please?” There’s a ghost of a touch as Isaac grabs his hand, and Nolan blinks his eyes open. He smiles sadly as he moves his hand up to cup Nolan’s cheek. “I’m here as long as you need me.”

“I’ll always need you,” Nolan tells him. He can’t imagine a time where he wouldn’t need Isaac.

“One day you might need to look after yourself more,” Isaac tells him. “And it will be okay.”

Nolan shakes his head, “It won’t. I won’t. I’m fine. Can we just go back to the bedroom?”

Isaac nods and steps back, “Sure, Nols. We can go back to your room.”

“ _Our_ room,” Nolan corrects him.

Isaac doesn’t say anything. He just turns around and heads down the hall, following after Isaac.

***

“You know you’re going to have to go get food,” Isaac tells him a few days later. “You’re almost out.”

“We’ll be fine,” Nolan says, not quite ready to accept that it’s just him that needs to eat. They have bread and peanut butter and jelly and water in the fridge. They’ll be fine. Both of them. “I can’t risk them grabbing me again.”

“Nolan…”

“It’s okay,” Nolan says, smiling at him as he crawls on top of Isaac. “I have all I need right here.”

“As much as I’d like to believe love conquers all, we both know that’s not true,” Isaac tells him. “You need to eat.”

“I have been eating.”

“Not enough.”

“Do you not like the way I look?” Nolan questions.

Isaac sighs, “You know that’s not it. I’ll always love every part of you. But you need…”

“I need you to shut up and kiss me,” Nolan says.

When Isaac does, Nolan feels a sense of triumph. It usually takes him longer to get him to agree. Mostly because Isaac likes to give him shit about everything. The fact that he isn’t should set off signals in his head that something is off. But Nolan doesn’t care. He’s going to take what he can get.

***

“Nolan.”

Isaac’s voice reaches him, but it sounds far away. He doesn’t know what day it is anymore. Or what time. The only thing he knows is that Isaac is here.

“Nolan, you need to get up.”

“No,” Nolan says, his words come out sounding hoarse. He needs water, but can’t find the energy to move. “Can you get me water?”

Isaac sighs, leaning down next to the bed, “You know I can’t. You’re going to have to do it.”

“I’m tired,” Nolan grumbles. He tries to sit up but his limbs feel weak and achy. “I can’t do it.”

“You have to,” Isaac pleads. “If you don’t you’ll die here. Nolan you can’t do that. You need to live.”

“So do you,” Nolan says, feeling tears stinging at his eyes. It’s harder to keep it up now that he’s basically starving himself.

“Nolan…”

There’s a loud banging at the door and Nolan groans, slipping further under the covers. “Why can’t they just leave me alone?”

“Because they care about you,” Isaac says. He places a hand on Nolan’s cheek and Nolan cries harder that he can’t even bring himself to feel it anymore. He wants to so bad. “I care about you.”

“I need you,” Nolan sobs. “I can’t do this without you, Isaac.”

“Nolan?” Melissa McCall’s voice sounds from the door.

Nolan can’t bring himself to look at her, “Please go away and leave us alone.”

“Nolan,” that’s Jenna Geyer, Liam’s mother. “There’s no one there sweetheart.”

Nolan shakes his head, “He’s here. He has to be.”

Isaac gives him a sad smile, “I’m not, Nols. I haven’t been for a while. You know that.”

“No…”

“Nolan. It’s okay. I love you so much. You know that. You know all these things, enough to be able to keep this up so well. But it’s time you let go.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to,” Isaac tells him. “You know that’s what I’d say. For you to go on and live your life. Grow old. Be happy.”

“How can I be happy without you here?” Nolan asks, his vision blurring slightly from the tears.

“It’ll be hard, but you have to try, Nolan.”

“Nolan,” Melissa says, kneeling down next to the bed. “Sweetheart, you have to let him go. This isn’t healthy. You know he wouldn’t want you to lose yourself like this.”

“How do you know?” Nolan says, aiming for angry, but he just sounds defeated.

“I knew Isaac,” Melissa says. “He was like a son to me. And I know how much he loved you. He’d want you to carry on.”

Nolan shakes his head, his eyes drifting back to Isaac, who just smiles sadly. “She’s a smart woman. You should listen to her.”

“I love you,” Nolan whispers.

“I love you, too,” Isaac tells him. “Goodbye Nols.”

Nolan doesn’t want to say it. The word sounds far too permanent. But he knows he needs to. “Goodbye.”

He closes his eyes as the sting of tears become too much. He wipes hastily at them, but when he opens his eyes, Isaac isn’t there anymore. Nolan screams. He screams and he cries and he claws at his pillow. Melissa pulls him to her, holding him tightly as she rocks him. He hears her say something, but can’t catch it. It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that Isaac isn’t here. He hasn’t been for a while.

***

Nolan takes a deep breath and pulls his coat tighter around him. He’s finally here. He knows he should have come here weeks ago, but it had been too hard. He can’t put it off any longer. It would have been Isaac’s birthday. The least Nolan can do is come to see him.

His grave is already covered in various bouquets of flowers, something that Nolan is relieved to see. Isaac was cared for, there’s no doubting that. Nolan places his own bouquet on top of the headstone, letting his fingers trail against the cold concrete.

“Hi Isaac.”

This time, there’s no response, and that’s okay. Nolan doesn’t need to hear Isaac’s voice to know he’s with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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